“If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.” – Jason Love
What a difference a couple of hours make... For the last 15 hours I have been really frustrated and annoyed at myself. You see, I made the mistake of actually getting on a scale for the first time in over a month. And, wouldn’t you know, I was up almost 15 pounds from a month ago. Talk about sad. For the last year it seems like I have been rehashing the SAME 30 pounds. Sometimes up, sometimes down… Well… I seem to have done in one month what I normally accomplish over a five month trend. Thus, I am annoyed.
Up until the scale incident I was really fairly optimistic about a lot of things: work was good, my children were doing mostly well in school, I’d recently done an Arrow of Light presentation that had gone really good, and I’d found some good suggestions on a friends website concerning how to proceed with my wife’s health issues (you should really check out www.healingwell.com if you have any chronic health problems). The only two things that really were bothering me were my wife’s health issues and the unexpected passing of my cousin. And now all I can think about are those stupid 15 pounds… Pretty darn superficial of me, eh? Maybe, maybe not. Please let me explain.
For the last 3 ½ years I have been trying desperately to lose weight. Ok, ok… Desperately might be a slight exaggeration. A more correct phrase would be that I know I am going to leave my children fatherless if I don’t do something and soon. I haven’t started to have any health issues from my weight, but they are just on the horizon if I continue to sit back and do nothing. So, I joined Weight Watchers in April 2008. For the first three months I did great. I followed the plan religiously and lost a whopping 35 pounds. I then went to Disneyland and went off plan for the trip. Big mistake! I lost three more pounds while at Disneyland and my brain made the connection that it didn’t matter what I ate anymore. (It really didn’t matter that the true source of the loss was from walking all over the park…). I came back and half-heartedly followed the plan and lost another 20 pounds. Then, I just couldn’t bring myself to continue to write everything down. And thus, I gained all of it back – and 10 more. Since then I have semi-followed the plan to mediocre success and constant failure. So, I guess what I am really trying to get at is that I need to get my act together.
When I started to write this entry, it was going to be a random jumble of web links that I had found over the last few days with my thoughts on each of them. Somehow this has been quite a derailment from those best laid plans… But, I like the direction that his has gone and here’s why. As scary as it is for me to place this out there, I’m gonna say it… Yesterday I weighed 352 pounds. There, it’s been said. (I think that my biggest concern about stating my weight is that most of my co-workers are fitness freaks in really good shape – this is not something you would even want to share due to the ridicule that would occur.) Now what I need from you is to keep my on the straight and narrow path to weight loss. If I can somehow find a gadget that is a weight countdown I’ll add it to the sidebar of my blog so you can help me keep on track. My typical weigh-in day is Saturdays and now that I have someone other than my immediate family to answer to I hope and pray that I will do better.
Thanks for listening.
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